The holidays can be very difficult times for anyone, but these weeks are extremely difficult when loved ones are suffering with an illness. It is difficult, even impossible to focus on the traditional ideas of holidays, shopping, cooking and family time. As the holiday season approaches many people will be in the midst of treatment, away from home and not feeling well. Some of our loved ones are no longer with us.

I spoke with a physician last week about what really matters to our patients, and to everyone – time with people who we love. Most people who are not well or who have lost loved ones to illnesses mostly want time with people. If you are the relative or friend of someone who is suffering from Mesothelioma it would be a blessing to spend some time with them to brighten their day. It would also be a blessing to let a caregiver know that you care and support them. Most of us want to know that others think about us. Spending time together is the most valuable and memorable gift you can give someone. It is so important to visit people who are isolated because of illness. It means more than gifts. Even a friendly telephone call is a blessing. Young children stopping by to say hello bring energy, life and laughter. Time together simply cannot be measured.

As nurses we often visit with Mesothelioma patients and experience firsthand how grateful a patient is to receive a visit from a new or familiar face. We can only imagine the joy a loved one will bring to a patient. The visit will help you too. Many times, we visit patients and we comment on how much better we feel after we have seen a patient. The emotions and mood elevation one may gain from visiting a loved one or friend is very surprising.

Holidays are very difficult for those who have lost someone. Feelings and emotions are complex. The absence appears to be more pronounced around the holidays and causes heartache and feelings of sadness and loneliness. One of the things a loved one should focus on is what your deceased loved one would want for you. Most would want you to be happy, and to care for yourself, and surround yourself with other loved ones. There was a time when you spent most of your waking hours, with minimal sleep, tending to your loved one who needed you. With no regret you were glad to be the one who could do this and provide the needs and love that were required. Now it is the time to take care of you. That is what your loved one would want you to do.

Allow yourself time to heal, be with others and if you need emotional care allow someone to help you. This is a time to heal. Surround yourself with loved ones, eat healthy, exercise, start walking and regain your fitness. It is difficult to lose someone or care for someone but the best thing you can do for yourself is be kind to yourself. Think of the happiest of times with your loved one and surround yourself with people who will make you feel good.

Our blessings and best wishes to you all.

Happy Holidays!